Sessions in Mediation: Can my children engage in sessions?
Yeah, children should have their voice heard in the mediation process due to their age and their ability to understand what is happening.
Both registered FMC mediators are qualified to help parents move best from becoming a couple to becoming separate parents and to put their children at the core of their decision-making efforts. Species on what help children can need when parents are separated may also be provided.
The FMC Licensed Mediators will also clarify to children aged 10 and older, as part of the mediation, the rights to be consulted and their viewpoints to be heard by their parents in their decision-making. The name of this is ‘Child Mediation Inclusive.’
The truth is that the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, signed by the UK, states that any child who is able to express his own opinion has the right to talk about matters that concern him or her.
Research has also shown, that it benefits you and your emotional wellbeing to consult with your children before or after a family split. Knowing their voice has been listened to as parents take decisions that concern them is vital to them. Research also indicates that this is also beneficial to parents and raises the likelihood that parents will overcome mediation problems.
To communicate with the mediator may be beneficial to a child, because:
- A child cannot tell a parent what they really believe, particularly if the child knows about some parental dispute.
- A child may not have the chance to speak to both parents at the same time, rather than sending both parents exactly the same message concurrently, and may be very worry about saying something to one parent. It is not rare for children to tell one parent something and another parent something entirely different.
- In households with highly charged feelings, children are obsessed with peacekeeping and do not feel that they have space or permission to live on their own sentiments. Talking to the mediator allows children the ability to rely on their own feelings in this situation.
- It offers a private space for all children, asking how and whether they should take account of any viewpoints. Both parents are given the opportunity to visit the mediator by themselves; children should also have the opportunity.
- A parent engages actively in a child’s emotions and well-being, and is not in an unbiased position to listen or to feedback on a child’s opinions. The parent can not understand or express the sensations of the child to the other parent or mediator even with the best wish in the world in the way that the child wishes.
- Challenging for the child to speak openly about what they feel and what they think is important can become something the parents are concerned about, including their concerns about how the child feels.
The goal of having a child consultation is to consider and to listen to children and take the opinions of a child into account in the child’s decisions. Speaking to a practitioner who works for the entire family gives a child a sense of true involvement and listening. It may also contribute to sustainable agreements that make the child central to decision-making, with all stakeholders, including parents, believing that arrangements are in the best interests of the children.
If children don’t want to attend, there is no obligation. You may be consulted if you want, but still have the option to say no if you do not want to meet with the mediator. The mediators find that few children say no, many people accept the opportunity to speak to someone impartial about what is and what is important to them in their families.
Your licensed FMC mediator discusses how it can function and whether it is suitable for your family to talk with your children. The mediator will give the child an invitation if any of you wish to arrange a meeting between the mediator and your child.
If your child visits an FMC Licensed Mediator to hear his thoughts, they will negotiate with the child on how to feed him or herself at the subsequent mediation. Children who accept an invitation typically have some feelings that the mediator wishes to pass on. The parents will schedule a feedback session in order to make sure this happens. Parents should then take into account their children’s desires and feelings when deciding on the future of a child. It does not mean that parents are only doing what the child thinks they want – making decisions never happens to the child and parents are still responsible for decision making about the future of their children. This does mean that parents have very useful additional knowledge to help them make choices for the family.
For more information Call us at 03300100052 or contact us here.